"Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day"

As you may already know, Georgia is currently trying to annex part of Tennessee in order to steal water from the Tennessee River. In what appears to be a masterful cross between a charitable act and a huge middle finger, Chattanooga recently declared "Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day." Tomorrow, a truckload of bottled water (that's one truckload) will be delivered to Atlanta by Mayor Ron Littlefield's aide Matt Lea. Lea will be wearing a coonskin cap for the occasion.

But by far the best part of this glorious day is the proclamation Mayor Littlefield and the city council issued to commemorate the occasion:

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PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

WHEREAS, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that

I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

“Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day.”

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And we'll all be damned if you take our George Dickel.

Have a nice day.